On one lazy, do nothing day
I picked up my guitar and started to play
Until it spoke to me and said: "what is anti-folk, anyway?"
In a state of bewilderment, I smashed it yelling: "kill it! Kill it!" and threw the rest of my cappuccino
In the bin.

I went right back to the coffee shop, yelling: "I'm gonna call the cops!
You guys dropped me some LSD, I'd rather do that autonomously!"
Turns out I was tripping balls, walked into an old folk home, completely naked covered in glitter. I thought I was a chimpanzee.
A crazy old man came up to me, said: "son, I think you should leave, I didn't fight in five world wars to be harassed by a purple dinosaur."
Then I realised horrifically, the walls were made from demon cheese.
I screamed: "Everyone! Get up, get out!"
But the cops showed up and gave me a clout. On my head.

I awoke in a dingy cell I thought was the seventh level of hell,
my cell-mate said: "do you wanna get out?"
But I thought he said: "hey, let's make out."
I said: "sorry, man. I'm not gay."
He said: "fine whatever. be that way."
Proceeded to make his daring escape and I realised I made a dumb mistake.

Appeared before the judge that week, feeling very small and meek.
"Gimme hard labour, I don't care don't send me to the electric chair."
Wound up on the electric chair and the guy said: "say your prayers."
Before I could even say my prayers he pulled the switch and I was dead.

When I got up to the pearly gates, Peter said: "I saw that mate. You didn't even say your prayers." I tried to explain but he didn't care.
Things weren't looking good, I could tell. Asked if I was going to hell.
He said: "hell no.
We're gonna shoot you into space."

When I got up to space I met the giant of the skies.
He's a real cool guy with a big, long beard and nebulas in his eyes.
I asked him if he was God and said: "Nah, of course not.
But I can be your best friend until this galaxy reaches its end,"

So we hung out above the earth.
Looking down on all the nations.
Bestest friends hanging out in space in mutual admiration.
But he said: "I have a confession, I'm sorry to say I'm a hallucination...
and you've been tripping out on that LCD laced coffee you got at the start of this song
While naked
In a train station."